Trying to Catch-up on My Life

A dear friend of mine has been bugging me about writing in my blog. I didn't realize how long it's been. Well, let's get this started.

In May, my husband and I went to Hawaii. Don't get too excited, we had to work. We had a trade show to work for 4 days, so we only were able to take 2 extra days for vacation. If it wasn't for the company paying for our travel, lodging and food for 4 days, we probably wouldn't have gone for about another 10 years. It's so expensive for us. What we did see was beautiful. One of our favorite parts of the trip was taking a sea plane tour of the island. It was amazing to look to one side of the plane and see mountains and then ocean on the other side. It's just a gorgeous place. We were on the island of Oahu in Honolulu. If we had more time, we would have loved to explore more and other islands. We also did a luau but it was not on the beach (which it seems as everyone else has done one on the beach) but on a roof top. It was neat. The food however, was not quite right. LOL! We're not seafood folk so many of the items weren't on our plates. Along with some pork, we did take some rice that had some veggies however after a couple bites, I noticed tentacles. YUCK! I was done eating after that. As a souvenir, we bought a pineapple. It was one of the best pineapples I had ever eaten. We did a search online and found a site that showed how to grow a pineapple plant from the top of the pineapple. We don't plan on growing pineapples but just to have the plant as a memory is nice. We have a nice green planted pineapple top sitting in our dining room now.

In July, Hubby had another conference, this time in Boston. We decided to make it a family trip and brought our daughter along too. This was a short weekend excursion for us. The highlight of this trip was whale watching. It was the most moving experience to be that close to such a magnificent animal. We were on a New England Aquarium Whale Watch, here's a link to our actual outing... http://www.neaq.org/visit_planning/whale_watch/log/2009/07/july-16th-am.php

In the fall we decided to change our daughter's preschool. It was a hard decision to make but well worth it in the end. She has grown so much since we switch schools. She started writing her name at the new school, which really shocked me. She was a little over 3 1/2 and she was already writing her name. She is spelling out many words that she sees and even trying to sound words out. The school is much smaller than her previous school so there is more focused attention. I think this is fantastic! Now, don't get me wrong, I am not pushing her by any means to do any of this, she wants to learn all by herself. I just go along with the flow. Her little mind keeps me in awe. Yesterday she turned 4. I can't believe my baby is 4 already! She will be in Kindergarten before we know it. Wow.

Thanksgiving was very nice. My grandparents came along with my parents and brother. It was nice to have all of that family around. My grandmother cracks me up. She is a very dramatic person and I love everything about it! LOL! We had them playing the Wii and laughed the whole time. I hope I'm that active when I'm in my 80's.

About a week after Thanksgiving, I found out I was pregnant. Yeah! I started taking my Lovenox shots faithfully every night. The OB had my blood levels checked to make sure everything was progressing as it should. At the end of December, we went in for my ultrasound. We actually saw everything that we were supposed to this time, the only thing we didn't see was a heartbeat. :( The doctor decided to wait one more week and do another ultrasound. When we went back, the fetus didn't grow and there still wasn't a heartbeat. The doctor took another blood sample just to make sure and saw that my levels were high enough that there should have been a heartbeat. Two days later I had a D & C. I go back in a week for a follow-up. I'm not sure what to do now. Do we keep trying for another baby? I told my husband that I think I can do this one more time but after that, I'm done. It just hurts too much. We'll just sit back and see what happens.

Looking forward to this year. I will be going on the quilt retreat again this year with one of my guilds. A week later, we will be taking my parents to Niagara Falls for a mini vacation. Other than that, nothing else is planned.

My goals for the year:

1. Organize my sewing room / office
2. Organize my family room utilizing the new cabinets my parents built and the shelves that I built
3. Finish 3 quilts
4. Work on a having a healthier life style by eating right and working out
   
5. (this one's a wish) To have another baby just as wonderful as our daughter

I don't believe these are too difficult. Let's see where this year leads us.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you have many wonderful experiences.

Robin

Lab test results

I finally got the call with my lab results. "Normal male pregnancy". Hmmm. I thought there were 3? Initially when this whole situation was at it's high point I was okay because there wasn't a heartbeat or fetal pole to see and fall in love with. That call made it real, knowing that we lost a baby boy. When I read on message boards that people lost babies as early as I did and they name them a boy or girl name, I often wonder if it's just them naming them to help themselves cope. Now I know that they probably knew with testing just as I know now. Do I name him? Do I name him and not tell my husband? I have a hard time keeping secrets from him, how would I keep a name from him. What are his feelings? Does he feel we should put a name to the baby? So many questions that one part of me says it's just silly ramblings, the other says that it's a mark in my past and I need to name him.

**SOAPBOX COMMENT**
Okay, this totally disproves the comment from Pro-abortionists saying that it's not a baby until it's delivered. The ultrasound technician, doctors, or Hubby and I couldn't even see anything on the screen but yet the lab tests tell us the baby was a boy. A BOY! That is a baby. It starts when the egg and sperm meet.
**STEPPING DOWN FROM SOAPBOX**

Baby update #1

Today was the ultrasound with the high risk OB. They did find one more, making that 6, however they are only focusing on 3. They believe the others to be blood clots, cysts, or pregnancy tumors? The 3 larger ones are measuring +/- 6 weeks (where as I figure I am 8w5d). How can I be almost 3 weeks different? Anyway, I go back on the 25th for another ultrasound. If there is no fetal pole or heartbeat by that time then a D&C will be the next step. They want to do a D&C because there is too much going on in my uterus to feel comfortable about me going naturally.

So now, I guess I just sit back and wait...

ETA - I did call my regular OB to get my blood results. My beta levels are high, 45,000, showing that I am pregnant. She said that it is high enough to be thinking multiple babies too...I just got used to the fact that I was going to lose a baby, now I have to get used to the fact that my numbers are good and there might be triplets?! Someone up there likes to make my life a little challenging?

Loss for words and emotions

Well, today was ultrasound day and things didn't turn out quite the way we expected. My appointment was at 10 am. As I wait for 20 minutes with that paper sheet over my legs, Hubby and I are talking baby stuff. The Dr comes in and the ultrasound starts. For those of you who haven't experienced this first ultrasound, it's not the one that they show on T.V. with the jelly in your belly... this one's internal, basically a joystick in your hoo-ha... not comfortable. Anyway, the Dr proceeds to twist and turn the wand and had a quizzical look on her face. She then tells us that she sees 3 sacs but no embryos. She asked that we come back in the afternoon to see the u/s tech for a more defined look. That appointment was scheduled for 1:40 pm.

I told Hubby I wasn't ready to go back to work, which was just around the corner. After a quick bite to eat, I dropped him off (we work at the same office) and he informed my boss and his boss of the situation. I then called a girlfriend of mine who had a similar situation a couple years ago. Thankfully she was home and able to talk to me. She was a big help to all of my wandering emotions. She listened to my questions, answered me truthfully and with great information. Thanks Kim for all your help!

I then called Hubby and he had me pick him up. We drove around almost mindlessly running some errands wondering what's going to happen next.

Now it's time for the u/s tech to see what's going on. "Hmm" she says, "I haven't seen anything like this in my 22 years. Were you on fertility treatments?"

"No..." I said. "Dr. saw 3 sacs, do you see more?"

"Yes. But I'm not sure if they are sacs or cysts."

"But you still don't see a heartbeat?"

"No."

Dr's consult... "Um, we're not sure what to do. We see 5 sacs or cysts, none of them viable from what we can tell. I would like to send you a high risk OB to get a second opinion."

"O.K." I mean, what else can I say?

So at this point, I'm waiting till Monday to see what the heck is going on in there. Luckily my ovaries look good...

I'll keep you posted...

"Yeah!" and "Boo!"

All right, I can't take it anymore.... I'm pregnant!! Yeah!! The "Boo!" part, morning sickness has kicked in with vengeance! I was SO hoping that it wasn't going to be as bad as it was last time but it looks like it's going to be just as bad... UGH! The part that's harder is now I have a toddler that I have to take care of in the morning when Hubby is out of town. Luckily this morning was one of her best mornings. I am only 7 weeks along and will get my first ultrasound next Thursday. I haven't been able to fit in my regular pants since 5 weeks. Last time I was able to go the whole 12 weeks before announcing and wearing maternity clothes.

Hopefully my grandparents don't find out before they come and visit at the end of the month. My parents have agreed not to say anything but there's always room for a slip-up.

I'll post a picture of the little bean next week. Keep your fingers crossed that there is only one! :) (My MIL said that I couldn't fit into my clothes already because I was preggo with twins. Apparently they run in her family. :-s )

I started taking my Lovenox shots once I got the positive pregnancy test. I hate shots, however, I'm getting used to them. The medication burns and I have many small bruises all over my stomach. No bare belly shots for me! This is preventative for my blood clotting in hopes that my pregnancy will go full-term this time with no pre-eclampsia. Also, I continue to take the baby aspirin and Rx folic acid.

My due date is April 22nd but we are hoping for the 17th as that is my birthday, plus Little girl was born on the 17th of another month as well as my MIL is the 17th of another month. Hubby only has to remember months, no dates! :)

Laughter is the best medicine!

This is a post (click here) from my friend in Chicago. Her baby is so cute!

Baby is here!

My girlfriend had her baby yesterday. I'm happy to say that the only thing I got correct from my dream was that she had a girl! I'm so excited for her! Her baby's name is Tessa. Isn't that pretty? Congrats my friends T & A!!

Happy Day After New Year!!

Well, I guess I'm a bit behind as usual, didn't quite post on the 1st like I was planning. Maybe I should make that one of my "resolutions", being on time? I told hubby the other day that I don't make resolutions, I make life goals, that way I have longer to work out the kinks. :)

Here is a list of my "goals"

1. cook more at home - we eat out almost every day of the week, no joke. Hate is a pretty strong word, but I do HATE eating out. Plus, we recently found out that our daughter has multiple food allergies. We knew she was allergic to squash from a test we had taken when she was an infant. Now we know that she is severely allergic to peanuts, moderately to eggs, and mildly to milk and green peas. Next Monday I have an appointment with a dietitian to help me with food suggestions.
   
2. workout - I love to do yoga. The rec center near my house offers a yoga class but it's off-site and doesn't offer childcare at the off-site location. I would need childcare when Hubby is out of town. What's the point of having a membership that includes childcare if I would still have to pay for a sitter?! I have found that our cable offers "on demand" exercise shows which include yoga. I have done pretty good and worked out the past 3 mornings. Let's hope I can keep it up.
   
3. sewing/quilting - this would entail me getting my sewing room up in order. Once I get the room together, it will give me the opportunity to sit and relax with my sewing machine and be creative. My first project will be to start on my daughter's quilt.
   
4. baby - hope that trying for child #2 doesn't take as long as #1 did... I don't need to advance on the rest of the steps, you get the idea.

I want to wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year! My fingers are crossed for everyone this year that they are able to scratch off at least one completed resolution this year.